Heather Janssen is a Celebrity Internet Diva born in Holland.
After helping to establish America into the angry powerhouse it is, Heather formed the Internet with a famous politician so that people around the world could come together and send naked pictures to each other (except for Muslim countries where that's outlawed so they just send pictures of falafels and goats and stuff). This allowed Heather to become the Internet Celebrity she is today.
Heather's Idea of Sexy Music
(Coming soon - link to Heather's Pandora channel)
She spent three years training in Switzerland's astronaut program where she learned how to use the Jedi Mind Trick. Using only her spectacular 36F bosoms and skills learned with the Swiss, she is capable of hypnotizing men and members of punk rock bands. Only occasionally using this power for evil, she instead employs it socially for such things as making out in inappropriate places like graveyards, tax audits and the opera.
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"A Bon Vivant, joker and stirrer
of high spirits. Luck finds her
and serendipity favors her."
Her hobbies include: training cats to jump through fiery hoops, squishing things between her toes and wearing outlandish costumes for no apparent reason.
- Fond of cupcakes.
- Masturbates when bored
- Favorite colors, pink and green.
- Lived in: the USA, England, Japan and Venus.
| Heather never trained formally as a writer, but has always liked words and decided to start writing stuff down. After a disastrous beginning, starting with the ill-fated “Ode to Stinky Things,” she found her voice and began to enjoy seeing her words reach millions. You can find her inspiring articles on The Huffington Post, the Pulitzer Prize non-Winner's List and other websites that let you post stuff for free.
Some of Heather's Favie Movies
- Bound
- Fight Club
- Wedding Crashers
- Grandma's Boy
- Super Troopers
- Cool Hand Luke
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
- Anything Coen Brothers: Fargo, The Big Lebowski, Diner
- Anything Wachowski Brothers: the Matrix, the Animatrix
- Anything Guy Ritchie: Snatch, Revolver, Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Guns
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Heather Janssen
